Dave with the Giraffes at Longleat
Simon, Chris and Mick on the Ridgeway, adopting typical Binner MO; they've all got their eyes closed.
The Ridgeway
To the binner, the Ridgeway is the holy Grail. The West Highland Way is longer and tougher, but presented little problem. However, put your average binner at one end of the Ridgeway, and the other end will remain a mystery. The quest to put it out of our misery is eternal.


Utilising the amenities of some form of Binner Bus has not always been the transport mode of choice for the boys. On occasions, Shanks's Pony has been chosen to convey the Binner from one destination to the next; often, I may add, in a not entirely successful manner. In 1995, a Binner expedition set off across the wilds of western Scotland in a frontier wilderness adventure, much like that of Lewis and Clark, which successfully led them to Fort William, but more of that later. Closer to home, the Ridgeway has proved to be more of a challenge.
Although an initial, and successful, venture was undertaken between 5-12 January 1990, and indeed two further successful endeavours have passed, the average Binner attempt at the Ridgeway tells a story of failure unparalleled even by the Big Brother 'Kick Racism out of Reality TV' team's attempts to, er, kick racism out of reality TV.
The table below is the itinery for that first, and arguably most successful attempt at the Ridgeway.
Sat 6 Jan
Ivinghoe Beacon Lite

to

Tring BR Station
Sun 7 Jan
Tring BR Station


to

Princes Risborough
Mon 8 Jan
Princes Risborough

to

Nuffield
Tue 9 Jan
Nuffield


to

Roden Down
Wed 10 Jan
Roden Down


to

Waylands Smithy
Thu 11 Jan
Waylands Smithy

to

Ogborne St George
Fri 12 Jan
Ogbourne
St George

to

Overton HIll
Unsuccesful Attempts
Before the Great Gale. A group picture taken before the most disastrous expedition to date: hundred's of pounds worth of gear was put out of commission as the team was practically blown off Combe Hill.
Binners are: Back row, Dave, Neil, Mark, Aiden; and front row, Wayne, Mick.
This is a picture not taken on the Ridgeway during one of our unsuccessful attempts to walk that ridge. None the less, we hold that it is a true and fair representation of the weather as encountered during the three expeditions citing excuse 14.
Ridgeway badge of honour
Dave - James - Neil - Wayne
Binner Book of Excuses
  1. My friend Mick's getting on a bit and he's hurt his ankle so we won't be able to make it.
  2. My tent's just disappeared.
  3. I can do it, I know I can do it, but I just don't want to spoil this special moment we're having here and now.
  4. 'I've got terrible blisters' 'let's have a look' 'No, I don't want to take my boot off in case my toes fall off'
  5. Sorry lads, I'm right out of chocolate.
  6. I would have done it if it wasn't for Fiona waiting to pick Chris up at the next pub
  7. I think I may have cancer
  8. I think my girlfriend/wife is shagging a basketball team
  9. I really just can't be arsed.
  10. I would have finished it but my knee was just too dodgy, can you tell me where the nearest hospital is?
  11. It ain' t no badge of honor
  12. We only set out to go this far
  13. I'm not going any further because I think you two are gay.
  14. It was the worst rain and wind since records began back in Stukely's time.
  15. The pub was too warm.
  16. A vile black shuck (a ghostly dog demon from out the devil's arse) put the hex on us with his evil eye.
  17. We never set out to do the whole lot anyway - only for as long as we were enjoying it.
  18. I'm only quitting because you said it first.
  19. Police Oppression; "I'm afraid you can't do that, it's totally illegal and the locals will probably burn your screaming carcas in a Wicker Man by way of ritual sacrifice if you tried".
  20. But it smells
  21. I'm feeling tired and I've got a bit of a head ache, so if you don't mind, I'll just stay back here in my tent and cuff one off. Er sorry, I mean get some rest.
  22. I just went in for a pint and nothing else. No I was not interested in that barmaid with the suzzi pictures at all, no siree bob.
  23. The carriage is empty because not many people are on the train.
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